"Dr. Crusher here. If this is a medical emergency, please go directly to audio. If not, please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible."
I could have waited. I doubt he would have minded.
[ But hearing Erik say that he wanted to, despite everything that came before. Even before, when Charles had told him that he was moving on, whether Erik still wanted to be a part of his life, the answer was the same.
Not everything had changed. ]
I think I just needed to - talk about it. Get my thoughts sorted.
[ He shakes his head before squeezing her hand. ] I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you though. I just felt that your judgement - your words would help me pull through.
[She frowns, looking down at their hands. She's confused and alarmed and worried, so very worried about where this is headed. There's anger there too though.
She pulls her hand away.]
Is that all you wanted? Reassurance for a decision you already came to?
You can always come talk to me, about anything. I'll be here for you, I promise. I just am having a hard time understanding you right now. One moment you say he only loves you when it's convenient and the next you're saying you want to start something again with him and I...
[ He wonders how he must sound like to other people right now. Erik and Charles have always had a complicated history, and others have brought up such concerns. Charles had always dismissed them. But here he was, the greatest naysayer. Charles breathes out. ]
I am also afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid that if I take this chance, I'll get hurt. But I also have a lot of hope. For him, for myself. I don't want to give up that hope yet. That both of us can find that piece of belonging we used to have.
[ He smiles faintly. ] I guess there are two people inside of me, warring. Wariness and a belief in the future. And . . . I'd probably always pick the latter.
[She answers his smile with a faint one of her own. Of course he would choose hope. It's something she loves about him. Well, one of the many things she loves about him. And normally, she's not so skeptical herself, not when it comes to matters of the heart. But this time, she finds caution winning out. Hopefully, he can forgive her for that.]
No. He's still recovering and - [ He hesitates. Erik has lost his family, which always seems to pale in comparison to Charles' own feelings. ] - He's lost a lot.
[And then, after only a moment's hesitation, she gets up to hug him. It's an offer of reassurance: even if she has her doubts about him and Erik, even if she's still worried and frustrated by the situation, Charles will always have her support.]
[ Hugs, or any kind of special physical contact still surprises him. Mostly because it's difficult to do with a man in a wheelchair. But Charles tentatively loops his arms around her because he cares for her deeply and her opinion gave him the weight he needed. The fear hasn't left, but Charles is not alone.
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I don't... I didn't realize you had already given him an answer.
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[ But hearing Erik say that he wanted to, despite everything that came before. Even before, when Charles had told him that he was moving on, whether Erik still wanted to be a part of his life, the answer was the same.
Not everything had changed. ]
I think I just needed to - talk about it. Get my thoughts sorted.
[ He shakes his head before squeezing her hand. ] I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you though. I just felt that your judgement - your words would help me pull through.
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[She frowns, looking down at their hands. She's confused and alarmed and worried, so very worried about where this is headed. There's anger there too though.
She pulls her hand away.]
Is that all you wanted? Reassurance for a decision you already came to?
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[ He pauses, worried. ] I'm sorry if I overstepped myself. That wasn't my intent. I just - wanted to talk.
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[She takes a deep breath and starts over.]
You can always come talk to me, about anything. I'll be here for you, I promise. I just am having a hard time understanding you right now. One moment you say he only loves you when it's convenient and the next you're saying you want to start something again with him and I...
I don't want to see you hurt.
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[ He wonders how he must sound like to other people right now. Erik and Charles have always had a complicated history, and others have brought up such concerns. Charles had always dismissed them. But here he was, the greatest naysayer. Charles breathes out. ]
I am also afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid that if I take this chance, I'll get hurt. But I also have a lot of hope. For him, for myself. I don't want to give up that hope yet. That both of us can find that piece of belonging we used to have.
[ He smiles faintly. ] I guess there are two people inside of me, warring. Wariness and a belief in the future. And . . . I'd probably always pick the latter.
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Have you expressed to him some of your concerns?
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I've been trying to help him through that.
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I will.
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[And then, after only a moment's hesitation, she gets up to hug him. It's an offer of reassurance: even if she has her doubts about him and Erik, even if she's still worried and frustrated by the situation, Charles will always have her support.]
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And it helps. ]
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Don't lose yourself, okay? I'm always here if you need anything at all.
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Of course.
W-rap?
Come on, why don't we have some tea and argue about Shakespeare, hmm?
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