"Dr. Crusher here. If this is a medical emergency, please go directly to audio. If not, please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible."
[When Allen returns and enters her quarters, he'll find her perched on her bed cross-legged reading something from the Bishop's - rather, the Iskaulit's - library. Or that, attempting to read at least. Focusing on anything has proven to be difficult recently. She sets the book down on her side table as Allen comes in and gestures for him to sit in her (new!) chair.]
[He hadn't been at the Bishop very long- maybe an hour at most. Mostly to eat what he could than pack up the rest before Belathazar threw another tantrum. Boy, that kid was a great cook but he sure had issues...]
[Either way, he'll walk in with a tray full of chocolate pastries. Yeah. The kid really went overkill with it- but at least some of them look to be croissants! He also has two mugs of coffee with him]
Hello Beverly? How are you doing?
[He'll move across the room at where she's gesturing to sit]
[Uncrossing her legs, she reaches over, helpfully takes the two mugs off his hands, and sets them on the side table. When she sees the croissants on the tray, her expression softens, if only a little bit.]
[Yeah, sorry Belthazar, your poor croissant is getting destroyed. She grits her teeth.]
The embodiment of plague? I suppose that's as appropriate way of putting it as any.
[There's a long silence as she tries to collect her thoughts. Eventually, she puts down the mangled croissant, brushes the crumbs off her lap, and looks back up at Allen.]
We're... we were friends. Never best friends, mind you, but friends nonetheless. Or I thought we were anyway. I even... he asked me to protect him, after what happened on Mor. [She laughs, bitter and short. It's ironic, now, to think about. The worst part is, she'd probably do it again.] And I did.
[Far more than she ever wanted to see either. At this point she has to get up, has to move, pacing within the small confines of her quarters.]
I know many people here have done some... dark things in their pasts. I knew that well before the calibrations. And to define someone only by their past... [She frowns] I don't want to do that. But what I saw with Tek, it was... I'm not sure exactly how to describe it. He creates death in his wake - how, I don't know... a pure concentration of will, some sort of telekinesis, magic, it doesn't really matter. I had to watch as he slaughtered thousands in a war he didn't even believe in, a war he left behind when it no longer suited him.
[She stops pacing to look at Allen, her gaze surprisingly steady for what she's saying.]
I could feel every single one of those deaths. It was... overwhelming.
[That's clearly not the end of things but she takes another breath, giving him room to speak if he wants.]
I didn't say anything about it in the calibration itself - he was only a child, in there, when he was interacting with me. And afterwards...
[She's pacing again.]
I needed time, before I could try to talk to him again. But we ran into one another on one of the way stations before I was really ready and he didn't remember anything so when he found out that I knew, he lost it, tried to turn everything on me. [A pause.] Not that I was exactly calm myself but... whatever power that is in him that brings death like that, he was gathering it. If Robin hadn't stepped in, I'm not sure that I would be here right now.
[There's a bit of silence on Allen's side, as he tries to wrap his mind around it. It's a complicated issue, from the sound of it. He definitely has his own thoughts and feelings, but...]
[Well, one thing takes priority]
Do you know if Robin was able to stop him entirely from gathering that energy? Was anyone harmed from your run-in with him?
[What did she want? She sits down on the bed again, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands.]
Nothing he could ever say would make me condone what he did. But I wanted to understand. Because I know from other memories I saw, he's not simply a monster, however hard he's trying to get me to believe otherwise.
Except by humanoid standards, he is a monster. [He says it calmly, with no anger or malice in his voice] If any human slaughtered thousands, we would all consider them a monster no matter any complexities or likable traits they may have had. I know that.
[He'll look down at his coffee, his fingers holding tightly enough so he can feel the warmth through his gloved hands]
But...it's more complicated when the slaughterer in question isn't humanoid, isn't it?
[Her lower jaw thrusts forward.] Don't misunderstand me. What he has done is monstrous and unforgivable. But to call someone a monster... too often that has been a way to position as a thing, a creature with no control over its actions. That's a dangerous line of thinking. No matter how unhuman he is, no matter how despicable he is, no matter how much I may hate him right now, Tek is a person and I refuse to see him otherwise.
[She takes a deep breath. It may seem like petty semantics but... it's important to her.]
You're right though... it is more complicated because of what he is. I know next to nothing of his world, his culture, or his species. The only other dragon I've ever met has been here in the fleet and they were... nothing like him, whoever they were. It makes it all the more difficult to come to terms with what I saw in him.
[Gosh, people from the future sure were sensitive about terms. But he's not going to bother to argue semantics. If that's how she feels, well okay then. And he hesitates at the last part. Like he has some thoughts, but he's reluctant to share them]
...Do you want to come to terms with the way he sees things?
Well, I can't keep going like this, can I? Angry and... and terrified!
[Because really, so much, though certainly not all, of the anger is a way to keep the fear at bay. She covers her face with her hands and for a long moment, she doesn't say anything, though her breathing is heavy. Then:]
Damn, damn, damn!
[With that last curse, the pillow gets thrown across the room, though at the door, nowhere near Allen.]
[There's a pause, and then his expression hardens slightly. He speaks with determination, with strength. It's clear that Beverly is waging war within herself regarding her human primal fears and her 24th century ideology. So he'll take the reins]
Then we find out what he'll do.
I'll talk to Robin. He knows Tekhetsio better than we do, he'd know if he poses a threat to us. If he does, we prepare for it. If Jove was able to take him down before, he's not unstoppable and Blue Fish isn't defenseless.
[Hell he'd say they are even better off than Jove's group ever was power wise between the benders and himself.]
I understand it's difficult because he was a friend. I understand that he has his own emotions and his own story. I understand he's not pure evil or your definition of a monster. I understand he has his own reasons for why he does the things he does, and the choices he makes- and that those reasons are possibly not unsympathetic.
But...we have a crew to protect. You have your life to protect. That comes first. Unlike him, we're all mortal- we only have one life to live. So we work on making sure we're safe, that'll make you feel less terrified.
Then you decide if you want to come to terms with who he is. But not until you're sure we're safe. Okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Voice;
Well, I'm going to go to the Bishop, I'm going to find you some chocolate pastries and some coffee.
And then when I get back, if you feel up to it, we can talk about it?
Voice;
Voice;
I'll see you soon.
action;
action;
[Either way, he'll walk in with a tray full of chocolate pastries. Yeah. The kid really went overkill with it- but at least some of them look to be croissants! He also has two mugs of coffee with him]
Hello Beverly? How are you doing?
[He'll move across the room at where she's gesturing to sit]
no subject
I've been better.
[UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY.]
no subject
Of course.
[Very understandable]
Do you want to talk about what happened?
no subject
No.
[She rips off one end of the pastry, but she doesn't eat it, just crumbles it between her fingers and glares at the pieces falling into her lap.]
But I should. [Deep breath.] What do you know about Tek?
no subject
[There's a pause, because he knows a fair amount, but a lot of it protected by patient confidentiality. Then again, she is a doctor...]
Well, I know he's a dragon and something like the embodiment of plague? Also him and Crowley have a thing...
[He makes a face at that, so gross Uncle]
But not too much. I don't speak to him personally. Most of what I learned was as a medic.
Why?
no subject
The embodiment of plague? I suppose that's as appropriate way of putting it as any.
[There's a long silence as she tries to collect her thoughts. Eventually, she puts down the mangled croissant, brushes the crumbs off her lap, and looks back up at Allen.]
We're... we were friends. Never best friends, mind you, but friends nonetheless. Or I thought we were anyway. I even... he asked me to protect him, after what happened on Mor. [She laughs, bitter and short. It's ironic, now, to think about. The worst part is, she'd probably do it again.] And I did.
But then I ended up in his calibration.
[She has to stop there, give her a moment.]
no subject
What...did you see in his calibration?
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[Far more than she ever wanted to see either. At this point she has to get up, has to move, pacing within the small confines of her quarters.]
I know many people here have done some... dark things in their pasts. I knew that well before the calibrations. And to define someone only by their past... [She frowns] I don't want to do that. But what I saw with Tek, it was... I'm not sure exactly how to describe it. He creates death in his wake - how, I don't know... a pure concentration of will, some sort of telekinesis, magic, it doesn't really matter. I had to watch as he slaughtered thousands in a war he didn't even believe in, a war he left behind when it no longer suited him.
[She stops pacing to look at Allen, her gaze surprisingly steady for what she's saying.]
I could feel every single one of those deaths. It was... overwhelming.
[That's clearly not the end of things but she takes another breath, giving him room to speak if he wants.]
no subject
That's horrible...
[Death on that scale...only a few type of creatures cause that.]
What happened then?
no subject
[She's pacing again.]
I needed time, before I could try to talk to him again. But we ran into one another on one of the way stations before I was really ready and he didn't remember anything so when he found out that I knew, he lost it, tried to turn everything on me. [A pause.] Not that I was exactly calm myself but... whatever power that is in him that brings death like that, he was gathering it. If Robin hadn't stepped in, I'm not sure that I would be here right now.
no subject
[Well, one thing takes priority]
Do you know if Robin was able to stop him entirely from gathering that energy? Was anyone harmed from your run-in with him?
no subject
[Even if you were a giant scared and angry pain in the ass about going, Beverly.]
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[He leans back in his chair a little, letting himself breath. Another potential disaster averted by Robin. The guy was on a roll.]
And so...after that you came back here and you've been feeling...angry, ever since.
[Yeah. That's a good way to summarize it]
Are you...angry that he turned on you, or that someone you thought as a friend would do such atrocities?
no subject
[What did she want? She sits down on the bed again, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands.]
Nothing he could ever say would make me condone what he did. But I wanted to understand. Because I know from other memories I saw, he's not simply a monster, however hard he's trying to get me to believe otherwise.
no subject
Except by humanoid standards, he is a monster. [He says it calmly, with no anger or malice in his voice] If any human slaughtered thousands, we would all consider them a monster no matter any complexities or likable traits they may have had. I know that.
[He'll look down at his coffee, his fingers holding tightly enough so he can feel the warmth through his gloved hands]
But...it's more complicated when the slaughterer in question isn't humanoid, isn't it?
no subject
[She takes a deep breath. It may seem like petty semantics but... it's important to her.]
You're right though... it is more complicated because of what he is. I know next to nothing of his world, his culture, or his species. The only other dragon I've ever met has been here in the fleet and they were... nothing like him, whoever they were. It makes it all the more difficult to come to terms with what I saw in him.
no subject
[Gosh, people from the future sure were sensitive about terms. But he's not going to bother to argue semantics. If that's how she feels, well okay then. And he hesitates at the last part. Like he has some thoughts, but he's reluctant to share them]
...Do you want to come to terms with the way he sees things?
no subject
[Because really, so much, though certainly not all, of the anger is a way to keep the fear at bay. She covers her face with her hands and for a long moment, she doesn't say anything, though her breathing is heavy. Then:]
Damn, damn, damn!
[With that last curse, the pillow gets thrown across the room, though at the door, nowhere near Allen.]
no subject
...What are you terrified of? That he'll do something like that here?
no subject
[She flexes her hands and stares at them.]
The absurd thing is, I think he's scared too. Scared of what I know, scared of who I'll tell. And when someone like that is frightened...
no subject
Then we find out what he'll do.
I'll talk to Robin. He knows Tekhetsio better than we do, he'd know if he poses a threat to us. If he does, we prepare for it. If Jove was able to take him down before, he's not unstoppable and Blue Fish isn't defenseless.
[Hell he'd say they are even better off than Jove's group ever was power wise between the benders and himself.]
I understand it's difficult because he was a friend. I understand that he has his own emotions and his own story. I understand he's not pure evil or your definition of a monster. I understand he has his own reasons for why he does the things he does, and the choices he makes- and that those reasons are possibly not unsympathetic.
But...we have a crew to protect. You have your life to protect. That comes first. Unlike him, we're all mortal- we only have one life to live. So we work on making sure we're safe, that'll make you feel less terrified.
Then you decide if you want to come to terms with who he is. But not until you're sure we're safe. Okay?
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